A little SSSSSStretched?

There are times as a coach you just need to coach yourself. I am quite serious, there are times when your circumstances can appear and feel overwhelming. At present with my wife being in hospital there are a lot of little extras added to my day as well as visiting her in hospital.

If I stay with just what it looks like and feels like it is easy to get overwhelmed and want to stop. The urge to hunker down and allow the world  to go by can get pretty strong for me. There is nothing actually wrong as I said a couple of weeks ago, stuff happens, this is the essence of life.

How do we cope with the things life throws at us, things we weren't expecting?

The answer may come from an unexpected source.................Pixar. To the immortal words of Dory.

"Just keep swimming."The essence of this is a truth of life we must keep moving just to maintain where we are if we are "against the current." If we don't, we will be swept away. If we are with the current we will get there all the faster.

If you are up against it today, just keep moving forward even to hold your own. Your situation will likely change at some point and then you have even greater momentum going forward. Just remember if you stop, you risk all that you have gained in the recent past.

Just keep swimming...............Just keep swimming!

Sometimes simple is useful!

There is a lot to be said for wisdom that has been proven over time. I can testify to this from my experience this week.

I have spent a lot of my time in and out of our local hospital, after we had to rush my wife there late Tuesday night in an ambulance suffering from acute abdominal pain. It has been potentially a very stressful time. I have been able lessen, but not eliminate my stress by following these simple but profound wise words. 

They come from what is commonly called the Serenity Prayer, which goes like this.

What this has enabled me to do is to focus my emotional and mental energy on the things I can change. Not things that may annoy me, make fearful or angry that are beyond my ability to effect from my position. This was not always easy, but proved a fruitful process for me and my wife. Giving full energy to the things I could do to improve her and my position in this difficult situation.

Yes, she is on the improve at the moment. Thank you.

Sometimes simple is useful!

How wet can you get?

This weekend Auckland had the most amazing weather. We had a “weather bomb” of intense rain. The rain was torrential for 3 days, which is unusual for our part of the world. Parts of the city and other areas in the North Island flooded and were cut off.

 

This sets the scene for a decision making process. I have lost 12 kgs since August last year and have been around my goal weight for about 3 months. I maintain my weight by checking it every day, watching what I eat and walking. Now with the weather it made a small dilemma was I going to walk or not. Now the easy answer is to not to walk. I mean why would you?

There certainly weren't this many people out there!

Well the answer to that is I can’t afford to be put off by the weather with winter coming if I want to maintain my weight where it is. So it comes down to the basic statement as my wife put it “once you’re wet you are wet”. Basically when you are soaked to the skin you can get wet no further and in that rain it did not take that long to achieve that status. So the dog and I went out for a walk for 50 plus minutes.

 

So what is the point of all this:

·         You can’t allow unforeseen things to stop your plans.

·         To achieve your goals you will have to put up with undesirable circumstances and being uncomfortable.

·         These circumstance will tell how important your goal really is to you.

The good news for me is my weight is still within the range I am happy with. I didn’t melt and being wet was nothing that a hot shower and dry clothes didn’t cure afterwards

Stuff happens.

There is a saying that goes “stuff happens,” which is true. A lot of things that happen to us good and bad we just weren’t expecting. Most of the time this event is not the only determinant of what the final result may look like. It is how we decide to deal with it.

Here are 2 simple thoughts:

React or Respond?

Reacting can be as simple as a “gut” call, something instinctive. Often an emotional response as something just happens. From here we may get overreaction when everything can get out of hand quickly. This is not always the way but we run the risk of things turning pear-shaped pretty rapidly if we are not careful.

So what is responding it can be as simple as taking to take a breath and look at the issue from a bit of time distance. Which may be as little as minute or as long as it needs to take the emotion sting out of the situation and respond with the rational mind. This is hopefully a wise place, but no guarantee, you can take all the time in the world and still make a dumb choice!

Problem orientation or solution focus!

It is all about the focus. Where is your mind focussed; on the problem itself or potential solutions to the problem.

When we focus on the problem we can go round and round in circles looking at this issue. Sometimes we get into the blame game and start look something or someone to blame for the problem. Now as a starting place these may have a useful life span of about 5 minutes then after that we just get bogged down, taking huge amount of energy for little viable gain.

If we are solutions focussed the problem just provides the parameters and the solution is where the energy goes. We end up with choices or at least an understanding of why may have only one answer even if we don’t like it. It engages the rational mind into the process and opens up communication, which is always useful.

So when stuff happens, not if stuff happens, you can chose to react or respond. Then chose to problem or solutions orientation. The choice is in fact yours, this is your point of power stepping, away from being victim into the assertive.

Which will you route take? It takes practice but it does work.