Stuff happens.

There is a saying that goes “stuff happens,” which is true. A lot of things that happen to us good and bad we just weren’t expecting. Most of the time this event is not the only determinant of what the final result may look like. It is how we decide to deal with it.

Here are 2 simple thoughts:

React or Respond?

Reacting can be as simple as a “gut” call, something instinctive. Often an emotional response as something just happens. From here we may get overreaction when everything can get out of hand quickly. This is not always the way but we run the risk of things turning pear-shaped pretty rapidly if we are not careful.

So what is responding it can be as simple as taking to take a breath and look at the issue from a bit of time distance. Which may be as little as minute or as long as it needs to take the emotion sting out of the situation and respond with the rational mind. This is hopefully a wise place, but no guarantee, you can take all the time in the world and still make a dumb choice!

Problem orientation or solution focus!

It is all about the focus. Where is your mind focussed; on the problem itself or potential solutions to the problem.

When we focus on the problem we can go round and round in circles looking at this issue. Sometimes we get into the blame game and start look something or someone to blame for the problem. Now as a starting place these may have a useful life span of about 5 minutes then after that we just get bogged down, taking huge amount of energy for little viable gain.

If we are solutions focussed the problem just provides the parameters and the solution is where the energy goes. We end up with choices or at least an understanding of why may have only one answer even if we don’t like it. It engages the rational mind into the process and opens up communication, which is always useful.

So when stuff happens, not if stuff happens, you can chose to react or respond. Then chose to problem or solutions orientation. The choice is in fact yours, this is your point of power stepping, away from being victim into the assertive.

Which will you route take? It takes practice but it does work.