The 90/10 Principle

 I am a collector of all sorts of things, so I love hunting all over Trade me. I was recently purchased a piece of memorabilia on Trade Me (an online auction site) that I hade been looking for  a while. I thought I had finally found what I wanted, so bought it for $100. When it arrived it was not at all what I had expected. It was in kitset form. I was unhappy because in place did the advert mention it was a kit, it just showed  a finished product. I was quite disappointed and a little angry when I first got the product.

So I thought about it and politely contacted the seller stating it wasn't what expected and That I didn't have the time or the skills to build this. I also stated that there was no reference to the fact it was a kit in the advertisement, so I felt it was little misleading. The seller said he thought it would have been obvious seeing it was in the kitset section. I  replied that I just named the product I wanted and arrived there without having any notion of what section it was in.

Now the net result of this has been that I got my money back minus his postage , as it had been free delivery . I thought this was a fair process, to which we both amiably and mutually consented to.

So where does the 90/10 come in to this? About the same time I was reading a short article by author Stephen Covey ( 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) he was describing how the 90/10  principle works.

10% of life is made up of  what happens to you. We really have no control over this process. The other 90% you have total control over because it is your reaction to any given situation. No matter what you face there are always alternatives. Some more positive than others. Your immediate reaction determines how the subsequent scenarios may work out and how limited your options are.

So getting back to what happened to me. I first reaction was disappointment and a little anger. My next reaction was to do nothing for while. Then  I assertively, but politely made contact via e-mail with the seller explaining my situation. I felt this was the best option.

1. I could have"thrown my toys out of the cot" and got abusive to the seller....getting the sellers back up.
2. I could of got angry and stomped and raged and ultimately done nothing and said "Oh well it was only $100 dollars" ........................Made every one around me miserable
3. I could have just done nothing at all.....................so achieve nothing at all

                                        or I could have responded the way that I did!

So how did my 90% work for me this time? Well I have managed to find a different item for my collection which is actually better, and it only cost me $12 delivered.  I also found anther item I had wanted for a while for another $12. I have subsequently managed to buy two more items for another collection all under my $96 budge,t so it was a great result!! 4 items for the price of one and I am very pleased with each of them.

I have been able to enjoy some great deals all because of how I was able to react well to the first incident.

Remember you can't change your 10% (stuff happens) but you can change you 90%. So stop. take breath and respond in a level headed way. Don't just react. it can make all the difference to your subsequent options.

Until next time.

Significance matters day to day

I have felt the need to pause and decide how I want evaluate or measure the large and small milestones in my life. So I have decided to look at two important words in this sphere, because I need a mind set change.


Success:

The accomplishment of an aim or purpose.





Significance:

1.The quality of being worthy of attention; importance.

2..  The meaning to be found in words or events.

Do I choose to live a significant life or a successful life? Can I do both?






I am beginning to understand that the difference between these two standards can be the difference between living contentedly in the day and always striving towards tomorrow. When I look at the concept of success it is fleeting and momentary. A success may last 24 hours as a euphoric moment but unless I can replace it with another I am probably going  to emotionally drop. I have found this can be  a precarious way to live which can lead to great highs but some troubling lows as well.


Success revolves around achievement or accomplishment. Success is the "corporate way" where you are only as good as your last win, sale or achievement. This works while you are on the up, but not so great if you find yourself struggling. Success is often measured by someone else's standard or a standard that we have little control over. Some of us may set our own standards, but they are usually connected to an external standards. It may a number of sales, the right car or clothes, being with the right crowd or a large income.

An alternative is to switch my attention to significance, this means I am moving towards a different thought process. I feel that significance is about using your value and belief systems to interpret the information that is presented to you. Some of it by the events that happen to you and around you, interactions with people and yes achievements you have. However I believe using significance as a measure brings activity, beliefs and feelings into the long term game. Living with the end in mind. As Michael Hyatt says; What do you want people to say on your tombstone? Then living accordingly. Live with end in mind.



Now I haven't got this all worked out yet, but  it would seem to me that when you operate from the process of significance you move from an external measure to an internal measure of how am I doing?   Moving from comparison to evaluation. A gyroscope measures balance and equilibrium it is designed to keep things level. I believe that a gyroscope is a good symbol of a significance model because it allows us to internally assess where we are sitting at any time by using what is happening to us, being said to us, what we are doing and achieving related to our set of values and beliefs. That means the fluctuations are  probably not as catastrophic or euphoric, but they make us effective over the long haul.


So matter where I sit right now if I know my values and beliefs I can put both past and present events trough the significance grid and see where I sit. This allows the gyroscope to remain or regain balance because I understand the significance of what I am doing or not doing  not just how successful it appears right now.


 I believe living with significance is about quality of life not just quantity.

 I believe that significance and success can cohabitate as long as I am guided by significance. Therefore I am going to go back to reassess my values and do a quick significance check.

Have you considered what your values are? Have a look on line there will a lot of information to help you.

"I have been waiting to talk to you"

Last Sunday in New Zealand was Mothers Day, so the extended family, comprising all our adult children and grandchildren went out for lunch. I was sitting next to my son-in-law Alex and we started to discuss the new car he was purchasing which was similar to one I own. Alex had been talking about the features he liked about the car. When he was expecting it to be available and about a slight glitch he had had with the mag wheels that needed fixing up.

Then he said "I have been waiting to talk to you about what I should do with the old car. How do I dispose of it easily?" When then proceeded to have a discussion about the possibilities. Upon hindsight I was intrigued that he had waited to talk to me about it. I came to the conclusion that we all trust certain voices in our lives when it comes to certain issues. They may not be the same voices as the topic changes, but in a particular sphere we trust that advice.

I started to mull over how important it is in an age where so much information is flying around us constantly. Some of it good, some not so good and some that is absolute rubbish. It is necessary to have sources we trust in our lives. In the future this will become more and more important. In our information soaked age where do you get your information?

Does "Uncle Google" or "Yahoo" really know everything? In the information age,it not so much about what you may know, it is more about knowing where to find trustworthy information that will supply your need.


Who are your trusted sources of advice?

How did you decide if they were trustworthy?

How do you decide what information you can rely on?

Food for thought until next time.

Paul

Say what needs to be said. You never know.

I recently had some alone time on my hands and so I decided to watch a movie. I chose American Sniper because I had been told it was great movie. Being a bit of war history buff I was looking forward to but was totally unprepared for the impact it had on me.


In many ways it was a typical war film, but it have some interesting scenes showing the relationship between Chris Kyle and his wife Taya. It shows their relational struggles both during his 4 tours in Iraq and upon his return home. How he and they had to learn to cope with all he has been through, while picking up the pieces of a largely shattered marriage.

They end of the movie shows little about the timeframe of how long it took, but they managed to piece their lives back together in the movie. In the final scenes show a family and a marriage that is extremely well connected and solid. The last scene happens where Chris Kyle powerfully affirms his wife and his children and they him.


He then walks out the door and is killed by someone he is trying to help. This obviously devastates the family, but there must have been some kind of closure, because the things that needed to be said had been said!!

It profoundly showed me how we need to keep short accounts.......... not necessarily waiting for the right time or just having time, to say the things that those around us should and need to hear. I am not talking about negativity, but "words of life" that could bring closure over time if needed. We do not know when our time may come. Even if they are not needed for that reason today.They simply bring a better quality of life. I suppose some of this thinking is also sharpened by a number of sudden deaths within our wider set of friends and acquaintances.


Words and Actions that speak of:

• Love
• Appreciation
• Praise and affirmation
• Apology

I know, I need to keep short accounts in these areas.

What about you?

Say what needs to be said while you can.