Why.....Indeed

As a life coach, I was trained not to use the word “why” in my questioning techniques. This is ostensibly because when you use it with other people it implies some form of judgement. That you are questioning that persons decision. It can often be construed as a negative.

I was thinking about this recently. I came to the conclusion that the word "why" is a very powerful in our own personal repertoire for exactly the same reason. It implies judgement, it forces us to look at our decisions. Why would chose to do that? Or conversely why would we decide not to do that?

I have made a couple of decisions using this technique recently. When I have been looking carefully at a decision. In the end I did not make the decision I normally would have expected, but I am very content with my choices. I believe I made a better choice by critically asking the question Why would I do this or conversely why would I not do this?

Add “why” to your personal decision making repertoire; it forces you reconsider and make judgement before making a final decision.

Simple but effective.

Just STOPP!

You know sometimes you see something and you think wow this is great.

Well I was walking through my wife's office and I saw this small card about the size of a credit card with STOPP written on it well I thought that's unusual or misspelt, one of the two. So I stopped to read it and thought this is awesome, I need to share this!

You have heard of hatching or snatching an idea......................... well this is a snatch!

So here goes: These are a set of steps to use when life throws you a curve ball.

1. Stop
2. Take a breath
3. Observe: What am I thinking? What am I reacting to? What am I feeling in my body?
4. Pull Back: Put in some perspective. See the bigger picture. Is this fact or opinion? How would someone else see this?
5. Practice what works: What is the best thing to do for me, for others, for this situation?

A simple but a great intervention, Give it a try next time your not sure what to do.

You do have time! Go smarter not necessarily faster!

A dangerous pastime for some!

 

 

I am at heart a procrastinator…….. I may be somewhat of a reformed procrastinator, when my will dominates my very easy going nature. Which basically says "why do today what you can put off till tomorrow." So I have learned to be disciplined and get things done over time, but it certainly does not come naturally.

 

 My observation is that the very thing that we think is going to save us from our procrastination just provides a further smoke screen. I am referring to planning and goal setting. You may say well if you only planned when you are going to get things done your problem would be over!

Not so unfortunately for some it can give a false sense of achievement. We emotionally feel like we have actually done the job when we have only planned to do it. The real achievement is actually in completing the task not just planning it! So I have learnt to go past the good feeling of planning and actually just do it! I do not deny procrastinators need to plan and goal set like everybody else but they  must also complete the task! This provides honest and real sense of achievement not just an emotional high!

 

Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet!

The Panoramic View

I started to think about my 2017 and what that might look like using the brainstorming method. I worked out the categories and activities I wanted to give attention to over the coming year.
Deciding:

• What that might look.
• What preparation that might need from me before 2017.

As I sat back and pondered that process I decided that I also need to take a longer term view. This  may be partly because of my age, as I am acutely aware I am not getting any younger. I want to make sure that my time counts for something in the coming years. I guess I am starting to think "legacy", what will I leave behind? What did I exchange my life for?

London Panorama

I decided I needed to think bigger! Take a panoramic view if you will.  Starting to say where do I want to be in 5 years time? What do I want to be doing? What might I have achieved?

So I decided to take each of those major categories and extend out my goals in broad terms towards 2021. Where do I see myself in 2021 as far as career, family, recreation, and yes, health because the decisions I make today will influence my health in the coming years about diet and fitness. I have just lost 7Kg in weight I have a little more to go. However if I do not change my life style I will gradually lose all that I have gained. I know because I have done it before! I must enjoy my success absolutely! Then make a plan to maintain that desired weight level. As the blog title says I must be intentional!


So where do you want to be in 2021?  If you are not sure, it is worth some thought. I know I am starting to pay more attention to living intentionally not just drifting from one year to the next with short term to planning. I have done it all my life bounced over here and then moved over there with what should be happening.. I need to focus on what my long term goals are to see things achieved.


Things that matter!!

Until next time.
Paul

2017 in Macro

As I started to share last week I am planning for 2017. So I am going to share the process I am using with you. Hopefully it will help as you look at 2017 for yourself. As with painting or writing sometimes we just need the big themes or ideas down on paper.

A mind map if you will:

• What are the ideas, categories, streams of interest I need to cover?
• What do I need to develop?
• What do I need to add to the list that was not there this year?
• What things or areas need to go?
• What are the important categories?....................................Significant Other, Family, Employment or Career, Recreation/Hobbies, Faith, Learning and Personal Development and whatever else may fit.
• You may also choose to be a little more specific in some areas say in "recreation" and hobbies you may come down to Holidays, sports, a specific hobby or daily fitness. Whatever fits for you.

A Mind Map is a Graphic Organiser which simply allows you get your thoughts down in categories, in a visual way that you can understand . Hence the term graphic means visual. For us older bodies it may be new, but it is very common in modern schooling to help children organise their thinking. So that is the object of our exercise to organise our thoughts quickly and succinctly with few boundaries. You just keep adding more layers from our 2017 centre.

Give it a go you never know where you will end up!