Well ...........what's next?

As  a coach I spend al lot of time helping people come up with plans. However for the procrastinators amongst us,(Myself being one) this can be where we rest, if we are not careful. We feel we have achieved when we have made a plan. The emphasis is on feel. However we can not rely on our feelings, they can be deceitful. I have had to learn this lesson the hard way. We must allow the rational mind to start to at least ask some questions.

Such as: What is the the next step?



This opens up a whole new world because no matter how good or bad it looks there is ALWAYS SOMETHING THAT CAN BE A NEXT STEP.




I just love Winston Churchill's great words:

"Success is nor final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts"




So what is you next step?

Look around you, there is something that can be done.

They are usually small steps, but some may feel large. If it seems too big break it down to smaller steps.

If life is bad. What can I do today, no matter how small. Can I move forward? Then tomorrow may become easier.

If I can't answer this question. Who can I ask for help that may make this next step more obvious, more achievable or just a little less lonely!

If life is good how can I capitalise on my momentum?


Well what's next for you? Remember you only have 24 hours in day. What can you possibly achieve today?

Learning our ABC's

As a coach it is important understand the cultural and technical context we function in. Our cultural and technical world is constantly changing so it becomes increasingly important that we keep up. There is a high probability that we may chose to operate within a certain societal sector or vocational sector. However I still believe however we should have a reasonable idea of what the rest of our society is up to.

Hence my statement that we need to keep up with our ABC's. 

Always

Be

Current (as you can)

This in someways seems easier said than done as you get a little older. Especially in the field of technology. Everything seems to be constantly changing and I must say I struggle to keep up on occasions with technology. The idea of having people who help you in this area makes a lot of sense. There are also times where you have to change mentors. My youngest daughter has usually taken the role for me in technology. However I have made the move across to a Mac based platform with mac computer, ipads and iphones interconnected. Which means I now need the support of my son who is the "Mac Whiz". It has proved an amazing shift having all my devices in sink. I have been a long time i phone user but have had a Samsung laptop and android tablet. This made connectivity between platforms difficult.

I must say it has a lot a freedom that I did not understand before. Because the rest of my children are high end Apple users we can now have a family calendar which is much easier to use. My youngest daughter is now going to Europe and Britain for an indefinite period, but having made this technological upgrade it doesn't feel quite so bad as we will be able to stay in touch much more easily. Now I do not claim to be a digital native but having started a new journey feels good.

When we step beyond technology and into general New Zealand, we may not agree with all that happens around us, but sticking our heads in the sand won't change anything. There is a statement that "knowledge is power," so making efforts stay current  is very useful. You can't agree or disagree with something you don't know about!

Whether we like it or not change is a constant so at least have an informed decision process while being true to who you are and and your own values.

(Written on a Mac)

One foot in front of the other

When you are working as a coach there is so much that you know that you kind of forget until you have to use it again on yourself. It is not as often when you get older that you get to try something that you have never attempted before. Something genuinely new! (Unless it is technology)

Well I had that experience this weekend. A really close friend of my daughters who we look upon as part of the family, another daughter if you will, asked me to take her wedding as the celebrant. This was something I had never considered before, but felt that it was the right thing to do. So I decided to give it a go.

I had had some experiences that were going to make this task easier than starting from scratch. So it became a matter of drawing on those experiences to help me in the situation. The first thing I had to do was actually go through the legal process of becoming a wedding celebrant.This was a matter of just working through the the procedures that were necessary.

I have literally just completed Loree's wedding and we had a fabulous day. Some of that was down to using the resources around me. I have a friend who is a celebrant and she was able to mentor me through the process. She shared resources and checked through preparations that I had made. I had worked through the process well by the time that the day arrived.

That is my point we need not fear new situations if we have done our preparations well. When we have done everything we possibly can going into a new situation, it helps to build confidence. This means that we have done all that can be done with what we have, before we start. For me this meant having completed a script of what I was going to say, compiling folders for my script and for the two certificates to be signed in.  Having both of the folders checked by my mentor meant that the procedures had been checked the necessary equipment had been checked.


I had done all that was possible in that situation and in the end the result was fabulous. This with all the preparations complete it just came down to using the particular skills and experiences already had to ensure that the experience was successful. There are very few situations you can not find and apply previous experience and skills to help build your confidence and prospects of success.



Previous skills and experience + sound preparation = confidence to do well.

Note I do not say guaranteed good result, just optimized conditions.

A simple kind word.

 

I was reminded the other day about the importance of our words. Words can either build up or tear down. Our words are extremely powerful they can last a lifetime for someone else either positively or negatively.

Counsellors and psychologist spend an awful lot of time trying to rectify the damage done by ill-chosen, nasty or downright evil words. It can take years to get over a throwaway line!

I recently had the privilege of spending time with my children, their spouses and my grandchildren. I was able to sow “words of life” to each of them about who they were and the qualities I so appreciated about each of them. I was so amazed at how profound the impact was of a few simple well directed words. Like water on a parched riverbed bringing forth life.

There are so many things out there waiting to tear down those you love, those you like or even those you just spend time with. You can part of the solution or you can be part of the verbal destruction out there, your choice!

It does not take much give a kind word and smile to those you love and those you meet. “I took the road less travelled and it made all the difference”. You may never know the impact your positive words have on others, but I will you tell that you will notice the positive effect it has on you!

A little SSSSSStretched?

There are times as a coach you just need to coach yourself. I am quite serious, there are times when your circumstances can appear and feel overwhelming. At present with my wife being in hospital there are a lot of little extras added to my day as well as visiting her in hospital.

If I stay with just what it looks like and feels like it is easy to get overwhelmed and want to stop. The urge to hunker down and allow the world  to go by can get pretty strong for me. There is nothing actually wrong as I said a couple of weeks ago, stuff happens, this is the essence of life.

How do we cope with the things life throws at us, things we weren't expecting?

The answer may come from an unexpected source.................Pixar. To the immortal words of Dory.

"Just keep swimming."The essence of this is a truth of life we must keep moving just to maintain where we are if we are "against the current." If we don't, we will be swept away. If we are with the current we will get there all the faster.

If you are up against it today, just keep moving forward even to hold your own. Your situation will likely change at some point and then you have even greater momentum going forward. Just remember if you stop, you risk all that you have gained in the recent past.

Just keep swimming...............Just keep swimming!

Sometimes simple is useful!

There is a lot to be said for wisdom that has been proven over time. I can testify to this from my experience this week.

I have spent a lot of my time in and out of our local hospital, after we had to rush my wife there late Tuesday night in an ambulance suffering from acute abdominal pain. It has been potentially a very stressful time. I have been able lessen, but not eliminate my stress by following these simple but profound wise words. 

They come from what is commonly called the Serenity Prayer, which goes like this.

What this has enabled me to do is to focus my emotional and mental energy on the things I can change. Not things that may annoy me, make fearful or angry that are beyond my ability to effect from my position. This was not always easy, but proved a fruitful process for me and my wife. Giving full energy to the things I could do to improve her and my position in this difficult situation.

Yes, she is on the improve at the moment. Thank you.

Sometimes simple is useful!

How wet can you get?

This weekend Auckland had the most amazing weather. We had a “weather bomb” of intense rain. The rain was torrential for 3 days, which is unusual for our part of the world. Parts of the city and other areas in the North Island flooded and were cut off.

 

This sets the scene for a decision making process. I have lost 12 kgs since August last year and have been around my goal weight for about 3 months. I maintain my weight by checking it every day, watching what I eat and walking. Now with the weather it made a small dilemma was I going to walk or not. Now the easy answer is to not to walk. I mean why would you?

There certainly weren't this many people out there!

Well the answer to that is I can’t afford to be put off by the weather with winter coming if I want to maintain my weight where it is. So it comes down to the basic statement as my wife put it “once you’re wet you are wet”. Basically when you are soaked to the skin you can get wet no further and in that rain it did not take that long to achieve that status. So the dog and I went out for a walk for 50 plus minutes.

 

So what is the point of all this:

·         You can’t allow unforeseen things to stop your plans.

·         To achieve your goals you will have to put up with undesirable circumstances and being uncomfortable.

·         These circumstance will tell how important your goal really is to you.

The good news for me is my weight is still within the range I am happy with. I didn’t melt and being wet was nothing that a hot shower and dry clothes didn’t cure afterwards